Ohlone Monitor

Is the future of dating doomed?


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With the holidays coming up, despite all the different avenue’s for dating, people are still extremely desperate to be in a fulfilling relationship- no one wants to be alone on New Year’s Eve.

The plethora of dating platforms available to us today is unbelievably huge. Online dating, dating apps, speed dating, blind dates, dating companies, and more—all prey on “lonely” singles, especially during “cuffing season.” In fear of being alone, everyone is so frantic to be with someone, even if it doesn’t ensure a happy and meaningful relationship, but what impacts does this have on dating and long term relationships?

By no means has multiple dating platforms “killed” the prospects of ever having a healthy and successful relationship. Romantic partnerships which start online do just as well—if not better—than ones which begin in “real life.” Really, the issue stems from excess and easy availability.

Going on a date has become as easy as downloading a free app and swiping right. No longer has it become an endeavor or “hard earned.” Unfortunately, with the realization of how badly people want relationships having dawned on so many individuals, it’s not a healthy dating culture which has erupted, but rather a hook-up culture which preys on the vulnerable.

With the creation of fast dating and easy hook ups, we’ve been able to witness the birth of a culture which disregards people’s feelings, wants, and desires through appropriated titles such as the notorious “friends with benefits.” To dehumanize someone down to a level where the only dimension one can possibly view another in is sexual, where their only purpose is to serve sexual wants and nothing else, is a matter of concern. Now, this doesn’t mean hooking up is the work of the devil, or having sex is for sinners. Everything is fine as long as all people are in agreement, on the same page, and consent.

But, given how easy it is to meet someone, hook up, and never talk again—the chances of ever being in a committed relationship have become even slimmer.

The creation of so many dating platforms, which was meant to assuage singles doubts and increase the chances for people to find love and companionship, has only further enabled the anxiety behind dating.

At some point or another we have all wondered if someone is genuinely attracted to us, but now we may even find ourselves questioning the exacerbation of the player mentality, where it’s not just three people someone is talking to, but fifty– how in the hell are you supposed to compete with statistics like that?

The truth is, it’s difficult, and you don’t always end up with the person you may have wanted, but maybe that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world—at least as far as dating goes.

For those actually looking for relationships, it may be even harder now than ever, and that is ok.

Despite how frustrated you might be, and how real the chances of you being single forever may seem, being single doesn’t suck—regardless of what you’ve been told, or feel.

Being with someone for the sake of being with them not only cheats you of a possible chance of meeting someone great—online or in person—but it’s cheating someone else as well.

Before this vicious cycle can continue in your life and infect others– ask yourself: does this person add value to my life? Do they actually care about me? Do I care about them? Do I enjoy spending time with them? If yes, then that’s most definitely the person you should be hanging around, if not, then don’t stress– just re-evaluate and continue on.

Even if you don’t get that New Year’s kiss, or you can’t do “cute holiday couple things” this year, you’re still loved and appreciated by so many special people around you.

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The student news site of Ohlone College
Is the future of dating doomed?